I'm a Roman Catholic, and today is Ash Wednesday, the kickoff for 40 days of prayer, fasting and almsgiving intended to prepare oneself for Easter. Like most Catholics, I have a love/hate relationship with lent. I've had some incredibly spiritual lenten seasons, but that just makes the less "wow" seasons seem that much more disappointing.
The plan for lent 2010 is to dial back some of the inputs in my life. I'm going to watch much less TV, allowing myself maybe an hour a day of something that I truly want to watch. No more spending hours watching Law and Order reruns. I'm fasting from the internet forum that I'm a regular on, and will likely cut back on trips to the faculty lunchroom. I'm hoping to staunch some of the negativity that seems to stream into me, hopefully freeing me from some of the exhaustion that I feel.
Checked out one assisted living place today. Hoping for a transition from the nursing home to assisted living the first week of march. I just can't leave Mom there any longer. More on that later.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It's Obvious
I have a friend who believes that when a really big important decision needs to be made, it will become obvious what to do when the time is right. When you can't decide what to do, the time just isn't right yet.
It is obviously time to get Mom out of that nursing home.
It's no one problem, but it's like a boil that has finally gotten enough stuff in it that it is going to break. Between the deathtrap wheelchair, the lousy food, the current mishandling of something that might or might not be a UTI, poor blood sugar management, yadda yadda yadda. She needs to be somewhere else. Somewhere where the other residents challenge her mentally. Somewhere she can practice taking care of herself a bit more, but has a net to catch her. Somewhere she can have her own space, her own things, her cat back.
So I'll be taking a tour of assisted living facilities this week after work. I'll share my thoughts soon.
It is obviously time to get Mom out of that nursing home.
It's no one problem, but it's like a boil that has finally gotten enough stuff in it that it is going to break. Between the deathtrap wheelchair, the lousy food, the current mishandling of something that might or might not be a UTI, poor blood sugar management, yadda yadda yadda. She needs to be somewhere else. Somewhere where the other residents challenge her mentally. Somewhere she can practice taking care of herself a bit more, but has a net to catch her. Somewhere she can have her own space, her own things, her cat back.
So I'll be taking a tour of assisted living facilities this week after work. I'll share my thoughts soon.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Deathtrap wheelchairs and other misadventures in nursing home care
Sorry about the long hiatus. I didn't feel like I had anything new to blog about.
Mom had been "borrowing" her wheelchair from a colleague since September. Unfortunately, my colleague's wife had a fall and needed her chair back. I gave the nursing home about 3 days notice, but they didn't bring her one until I actually took the wheelchair away. The nurses were all surprised that she suddenly didn't have a wheelchair-DUH.
Mom got her chair last Thursday. We had an appointment to start on her income taxes. I picked her up and took her to dinner, before the appointment, and I was having a heck of a time with this chair. The footrests seemed to flop all around, and it was very hard to push and steer. We get to the accountant, and see that the wheelchair ramp has a 8 foot snow mound on it. I love when grounds crews block the ramps. As I'm pulling Mom's chair up the curb, the handle on the chair comes off in my hand, leaving her hanging crookedly off of the edge of the curb! I manage to keep her from falling off putting all my strength into holding on to the other side, then haul her back onto the curb. Whew.
At the accountant's, I'm still struggling to steer the chair. We get through the appointment, and I lower Mom back down the curb and then I REALLY can't steer. I finally get her to the car and notice that the right tire is not on the wheel, but is wrapped around the axle. I turn to lock the left wheel, and the tire isn't there at all! I look across the lot and find it lying in the middle of the parking lot, where it rolled when it came off. So, I'm on a slightly inclined parking lot, with no wheelchair locks, and I have to get Mom's walker so she can get into the car. I had her hang on to the rear view mirror until I could get the walker and be her "locks" and get her into the car.
Back at the nursing home, I put the chair in the doorway and go get her another chair. When I tell the nurse about it, she offers to "put it in the report". The other chair isn't great either, but it gets her into the nursing home. She keeps that chair for 3 days, even after telling the nurses that the one wheel doesn't lock well and it's scootching away when she sits down.
I have rented a chair from a local medical supply store, to the tune of $70 per month. I'm relived to know that she's in a safe, well maintained chair. I'm also extremely ticked off at the nursing home. How could the PT department give her not one, but TWO unsafe chairs? Why are we paying for a wheelchair? Can I deduct that $70 from our monthly payment? How about the $30 a week I'm spending at the grocery store to ensure that she's got food and juice when her blood sugar goes down?
I'd already scheduled a meeting with the social worker and nutritionist to discuss some of the "meals"there. Should be interesting.
All I can think is how thankful the nursing home should be not to be dealing with my Dad. He was a corporate liability claims adjuster for over 30 years. That's a nice long, well constructed building. If I owned it, it would make a great indoor shooting range!
Mom had been "borrowing" her wheelchair from a colleague since September. Unfortunately, my colleague's wife had a fall and needed her chair back. I gave the nursing home about 3 days notice, but they didn't bring her one until I actually took the wheelchair away. The nurses were all surprised that she suddenly didn't have a wheelchair-DUH.
Mom got her chair last Thursday. We had an appointment to start on her income taxes. I picked her up and took her to dinner, before the appointment, and I was having a heck of a time with this chair. The footrests seemed to flop all around, and it was very hard to push and steer. We get to the accountant, and see that the wheelchair ramp has a 8 foot snow mound on it. I love when grounds crews block the ramps. As I'm pulling Mom's chair up the curb, the handle on the chair comes off in my hand, leaving her hanging crookedly off of the edge of the curb! I manage to keep her from falling off putting all my strength into holding on to the other side, then haul her back onto the curb. Whew.
At the accountant's, I'm still struggling to steer the chair. We get through the appointment, and I lower Mom back down the curb and then I REALLY can't steer. I finally get her to the car and notice that the right tire is not on the wheel, but is wrapped around the axle. I turn to lock the left wheel, and the tire isn't there at all! I look across the lot and find it lying in the middle of the parking lot, where it rolled when it came off. So, I'm on a slightly inclined parking lot, with no wheelchair locks, and I have to get Mom's walker so she can get into the car. I had her hang on to the rear view mirror until I could get the walker and be her "locks" and get her into the car.
Back at the nursing home, I put the chair in the doorway and go get her another chair. When I tell the nurse about it, she offers to "put it in the report". The other chair isn't great either, but it gets her into the nursing home. She keeps that chair for 3 days, even after telling the nurses that the one wheel doesn't lock well and it's scootching away when she sits down.
I have rented a chair from a local medical supply store, to the tune of $70 per month. I'm relived to know that she's in a safe, well maintained chair. I'm also extremely ticked off at the nursing home. How could the PT department give her not one, but TWO unsafe chairs? Why are we paying for a wheelchair? Can I deduct that $70 from our monthly payment? How about the $30 a week I'm spending at the grocery store to ensure that she's got food and juice when her blood sugar goes down?
I'd already scheduled a meeting with the social worker and nutritionist to discuss some of the "meals"there. Should be interesting.
All I can think is how thankful the nursing home should be not to be dealing with my Dad. He was a corporate liability claims adjuster for over 30 years. That's a nice long, well constructed building. If I owned it, it would make a great indoor shooting range!
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