Funny how you can forget about the blog for a few months, but when you log back in, you see the things that have and haven't changed.
Mom's just had another ankle surgery. The first one didn't completely work, so she just had the ankle fused. She's not taking it well. Her dementia seems to be worse. She's developed some weird facial tics.
I'm working on my tenure file, and hope to be done with it this week. I'm still wondering when I'll start grieving for my Dad, still battling my depression and still rebuilding the finances from my leave. I'm also lugging around a number of extra pounds. Hmmm.
The Mom of one of my best friends is in hospice. It is so weird to watch someone else go through it.
I'm headed to Parentville in August to get the family home ready to sell. Course preparation needs to be done too. This summer seems like it has lasted forever, but I could still use more time. Strange.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
They caught me
Somewhere between my last post and today the semester ended. I'm working on my (now late) annual report. I struggle with this report every year because I have a hard time spinning things positively. Today I was looking at my fall teaching evaluations to get a better feel for what parts of my teaching were "effective". They weren't bad, but there were some definite criticisms of my organization, and some comments that some of the assignments just didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the course.
My first response was defensive. But then I realized that I'd been caught. I'd felt disorganized and frantic from the minute the nurse told me "Your Mom has broken her foot". It bled through into the classroom. I accept it. Now, I need to do two things. First, figure out how to I spin it for my report and my tenure file, but more importantly, what changes do I need to make to become more organized next year?
My first response was defensive. But then I realized that I'd been caught. I'd felt disorganized and frantic from the minute the nurse told me "Your Mom has broken her foot". It bled through into the classroom. I accept it. Now, I need to do two things. First, figure out how to I spin it for my report and my tenure file, but more importantly, what changes do I need to make to become more organized next year?
Friday, March 19, 2010
Learning the Power of "enough"
It's been an incredible 2 weeks on many fronts. I'm not sure I could even regale the tales of all that has gone on with Mom, the cat, traveling, car trouble, IV antibiotics, work, finances etc. I feel like I've been putting out a dozen forest fires with a bucket.
Right now I'm listening to large printer print a research poster that I'll be presenting at a major conference next week. I need to leave for the airport in about 13 hours. My "to do before I go" list is massive. My Mom is adjusting to her "apartment" in an assisted living complex near school. She's got furniture from her home in Parentville and her cat. Laundry is in piles all over the basement. Bills need to be paid. I don't think that I still fit into my interview suit. I really wish I had about 1000% more data on this poster. My teaching evals came today, and my rankings for my one class just don't seem to want to come up.
But there's enough. Mom isn't as settled as I want her to be, but she's happy, and hasn't noticed the things that I think are missing. Laundry can be done while paying bills. I've got enough other business casual stuff to get by. There's enough on my poster to spark conversations, and hopefully get help on the things I'm stuck on, and either way the national level presenation helps my tenure bid. And my rankings are good enough, and give me some neat things to look for at the conference for that course.
All in all, things are good enough. And for once, I'm OK with that.
Right now I'm listening to large printer print a research poster that I'll be presenting at a major conference next week. I need to leave for the airport in about 13 hours. My "to do before I go" list is massive. My Mom is adjusting to her "apartment" in an assisted living complex near school. She's got furniture from her home in Parentville and her cat. Laundry is in piles all over the basement. Bills need to be paid. I don't think that I still fit into my interview suit. I really wish I had about 1000% more data on this poster. My teaching evals came today, and my rankings for my one class just don't seem to want to come up.
But there's enough. Mom isn't as settled as I want her to be, but she's happy, and hasn't noticed the things that I think are missing. Laundry can be done while paying bills. I've got enough other business casual stuff to get by. There's enough on my poster to spark conversations, and hopefully get help on the things I'm stuck on, and either way the national level presenation helps my tenure bid. And my rankings are good enough, and give me some neat things to look for at the conference for that course.
All in all, things are good enough. And for once, I'm OK with that.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Plans for Lent
I'm a Roman Catholic, and today is Ash Wednesday, the kickoff for 40 days of prayer, fasting and almsgiving intended to prepare oneself for Easter. Like most Catholics, I have a love/hate relationship with lent. I've had some incredibly spiritual lenten seasons, but that just makes the less "wow" seasons seem that much more disappointing.
The plan for lent 2010 is to dial back some of the inputs in my life. I'm going to watch much less TV, allowing myself maybe an hour a day of something that I truly want to watch. No more spending hours watching Law and Order reruns. I'm fasting from the internet forum that I'm a regular on, and will likely cut back on trips to the faculty lunchroom. I'm hoping to staunch some of the negativity that seems to stream into me, hopefully freeing me from some of the exhaustion that I feel.
Checked out one assisted living place today. Hoping for a transition from the nursing home to assisted living the first week of march. I just can't leave Mom there any longer. More on that later.
The plan for lent 2010 is to dial back some of the inputs in my life. I'm going to watch much less TV, allowing myself maybe an hour a day of something that I truly want to watch. No more spending hours watching Law and Order reruns. I'm fasting from the internet forum that I'm a regular on, and will likely cut back on trips to the faculty lunchroom. I'm hoping to staunch some of the negativity that seems to stream into me, hopefully freeing me from some of the exhaustion that I feel.
Checked out one assisted living place today. Hoping for a transition from the nursing home to assisted living the first week of march. I just can't leave Mom there any longer. More on that later.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It's Obvious
I have a friend who believes that when a really big important decision needs to be made, it will become obvious what to do when the time is right. When you can't decide what to do, the time just isn't right yet.
It is obviously time to get Mom out of that nursing home.
It's no one problem, but it's like a boil that has finally gotten enough stuff in it that it is going to break. Between the deathtrap wheelchair, the lousy food, the current mishandling of something that might or might not be a UTI, poor blood sugar management, yadda yadda yadda. She needs to be somewhere else. Somewhere where the other residents challenge her mentally. Somewhere she can practice taking care of herself a bit more, but has a net to catch her. Somewhere she can have her own space, her own things, her cat back.
So I'll be taking a tour of assisted living facilities this week after work. I'll share my thoughts soon.
It is obviously time to get Mom out of that nursing home.
It's no one problem, but it's like a boil that has finally gotten enough stuff in it that it is going to break. Between the deathtrap wheelchair, the lousy food, the current mishandling of something that might or might not be a UTI, poor blood sugar management, yadda yadda yadda. She needs to be somewhere else. Somewhere where the other residents challenge her mentally. Somewhere she can practice taking care of herself a bit more, but has a net to catch her. Somewhere she can have her own space, her own things, her cat back.
So I'll be taking a tour of assisted living facilities this week after work. I'll share my thoughts soon.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Deathtrap wheelchairs and other misadventures in nursing home care
Sorry about the long hiatus. I didn't feel like I had anything new to blog about.
Mom had been "borrowing" her wheelchair from a colleague since September. Unfortunately, my colleague's wife had a fall and needed her chair back. I gave the nursing home about 3 days notice, but they didn't bring her one until I actually took the wheelchair away. The nurses were all surprised that she suddenly didn't have a wheelchair-DUH.
Mom got her chair last Thursday. We had an appointment to start on her income taxes. I picked her up and took her to dinner, before the appointment, and I was having a heck of a time with this chair. The footrests seemed to flop all around, and it was very hard to push and steer. We get to the accountant, and see that the wheelchair ramp has a 8 foot snow mound on it. I love when grounds crews block the ramps. As I'm pulling Mom's chair up the curb, the handle on the chair comes off in my hand, leaving her hanging crookedly off of the edge of the curb! I manage to keep her from falling off putting all my strength into holding on to the other side, then haul her back onto the curb. Whew.
At the accountant's, I'm still struggling to steer the chair. We get through the appointment, and I lower Mom back down the curb and then I REALLY can't steer. I finally get her to the car and notice that the right tire is not on the wheel, but is wrapped around the axle. I turn to lock the left wheel, and the tire isn't there at all! I look across the lot and find it lying in the middle of the parking lot, where it rolled when it came off. So, I'm on a slightly inclined parking lot, with no wheelchair locks, and I have to get Mom's walker so she can get into the car. I had her hang on to the rear view mirror until I could get the walker and be her "locks" and get her into the car.
Back at the nursing home, I put the chair in the doorway and go get her another chair. When I tell the nurse about it, she offers to "put it in the report". The other chair isn't great either, but it gets her into the nursing home. She keeps that chair for 3 days, even after telling the nurses that the one wheel doesn't lock well and it's scootching away when she sits down.
I have rented a chair from a local medical supply store, to the tune of $70 per month. I'm relived to know that she's in a safe, well maintained chair. I'm also extremely ticked off at the nursing home. How could the PT department give her not one, but TWO unsafe chairs? Why are we paying for a wheelchair? Can I deduct that $70 from our monthly payment? How about the $30 a week I'm spending at the grocery store to ensure that she's got food and juice when her blood sugar goes down?
I'd already scheduled a meeting with the social worker and nutritionist to discuss some of the "meals"there. Should be interesting.
All I can think is how thankful the nursing home should be not to be dealing with my Dad. He was a corporate liability claims adjuster for over 30 years. That's a nice long, well constructed building. If I owned it, it would make a great indoor shooting range!
Mom had been "borrowing" her wheelchair from a colleague since September. Unfortunately, my colleague's wife had a fall and needed her chair back. I gave the nursing home about 3 days notice, but they didn't bring her one until I actually took the wheelchair away. The nurses were all surprised that she suddenly didn't have a wheelchair-DUH.
Mom got her chair last Thursday. We had an appointment to start on her income taxes. I picked her up and took her to dinner, before the appointment, and I was having a heck of a time with this chair. The footrests seemed to flop all around, and it was very hard to push and steer. We get to the accountant, and see that the wheelchair ramp has a 8 foot snow mound on it. I love when grounds crews block the ramps. As I'm pulling Mom's chair up the curb, the handle on the chair comes off in my hand, leaving her hanging crookedly off of the edge of the curb! I manage to keep her from falling off putting all my strength into holding on to the other side, then haul her back onto the curb. Whew.
At the accountant's, I'm still struggling to steer the chair. We get through the appointment, and I lower Mom back down the curb and then I REALLY can't steer. I finally get her to the car and notice that the right tire is not on the wheel, but is wrapped around the axle. I turn to lock the left wheel, and the tire isn't there at all! I look across the lot and find it lying in the middle of the parking lot, where it rolled when it came off. So, I'm on a slightly inclined parking lot, with no wheelchair locks, and I have to get Mom's walker so she can get into the car. I had her hang on to the rear view mirror until I could get the walker and be her "locks" and get her into the car.
Back at the nursing home, I put the chair in the doorway and go get her another chair. When I tell the nurse about it, she offers to "put it in the report". The other chair isn't great either, but it gets her into the nursing home. She keeps that chair for 3 days, even after telling the nurses that the one wheel doesn't lock well and it's scootching away when she sits down.
I have rented a chair from a local medical supply store, to the tune of $70 per month. I'm relived to know that she's in a safe, well maintained chair. I'm also extremely ticked off at the nursing home. How could the PT department give her not one, but TWO unsafe chairs? Why are we paying for a wheelchair? Can I deduct that $70 from our monthly payment? How about the $30 a week I'm spending at the grocery store to ensure that she's got food and juice when her blood sugar goes down?
I'd already scheduled a meeting with the social worker and nutritionist to discuss some of the "meals"there. Should be interesting.
All I can think is how thankful the nursing home should be not to be dealing with my Dad. He was a corporate liability claims adjuster for over 30 years. That's a nice long, well constructed building. If I owned it, it would make a great indoor shooting range!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Returning to Blogging
The ugly year 2009 has finally ended. 2010 is here, the semester has started, and it's time to do something, just not sure what!
Mom had her surgery on the 29th. The surgeon put in ten screws and two plates. He likes most of the repair, but is a bit worried about the one small piece. He was surprised at the amount of pain she had (very deep throbbing pain), but he was pleasantly surprised, because that tells him that he's got pretty good bloodflow down there for a diabetic. We've got a bit of infection in one of the incisions, but we kind of expected that.
Then the 30th, I broke out in hives. Don't know what set that off. Sitting in the ER I realized how much I've neglected my own health, and am catching up on that. Really, I am this time. I've been to the allergist and gotten some other tests/procedures scheduled that I'd never found time to schedule before.
At 11:55 pm on December 31, I went outside and wished 2009 "Good F-ing Riddance". I'm sure the neighbors think I'm nuts. Unfortunately, 2010 started with me battling a week long round of the flu, but at least it didn't hit during the first week of classes.
Now that the news is caught up, I can get on with thinking and writing about caregiving on the tenure track!
Mom had her surgery on the 29th. The surgeon put in ten screws and two plates. He likes most of the repair, but is a bit worried about the one small piece. He was surprised at the amount of pain she had (very deep throbbing pain), but he was pleasantly surprised, because that tells him that he's got pretty good bloodflow down there for a diabetic. We've got a bit of infection in one of the incisions, but we kind of expected that.
Then the 30th, I broke out in hives. Don't know what set that off. Sitting in the ER I realized how much I've neglected my own health, and am catching up on that. Really, I am this time. I've been to the allergist and gotten some other tests/procedures scheduled that I'd never found time to schedule before.
At 11:55 pm on December 31, I went outside and wished 2009 "Good F-ing Riddance". I'm sure the neighbors think I'm nuts. Unfortunately, 2010 started with me battling a week long round of the flu, but at least it didn't hit during the first week of classes.
Now that the news is caught up, I can get on with thinking and writing about caregiving on the tenure track!
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