Today we got the invitation to the annual garden party at our U. President's mansion. I instantly realized that I'm approaching the 1 year anniversary of my life turning upside down. On September 18, 2008 my Dad was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme, grade IV, and given 9-12 months to live.
I remember last year's party vividly. It was held the day after I found out about the diagnosis. I was still in shock. I hadn't eaten in a day, hadn't slept, and I really don't remember how or what I taught. Everyone was dressed up for the party, I was in jeans and an oxford shirt. My wonderful friends convinced me to go, hoping that the great "spread" would motivate me to eat. Casual acquaintances kept asking me "How are you?" "How's the new semester going?", they didn't know the hell I was going through.
I'll definitely go to the party this year. Yes, I'll remember how awful I felt that afternoon. I don't think I'll ever forget. But I'll try to remember the good 6 good months we had with Dad and celebrate that I got through the bad months. Bring on the party!!!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Debt
I was doing well supporting myself tutoring until July's vacations and moving home in August. Today I took money from my line of credit to pay my mortgage. Talk about borrowing from Peter to pay Paul.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I start getting paychecks again on the first of September, and I'm going back on Dave Ramsey's plan. I WILL be debt free again.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I start getting paychecks again on the first of September, and I'm going back on Dave Ramsey's plan. I WILL be debt free again.
Sailing anyone???
There's a phrase you hear sometimes, "I don't know whether to s*** or go sailing", and I think I'm there. This past week was meeting week at work, and all things considered, it went well. My new committee role was more work than I anticipated, but it was all interesting, so that was good. Class prep is going OK. I wish I'd have done more on leave, but that's "September guilt" talking.
But at home and on the personal front, I just don't know where to start.
Mom is still struggling with anything electronic. She's still having trouble with the continuous glucose monitoring system. We've gone through 7 sensors and have only managed to get 2 to work. I've finally found some friends who are willing to help her, but are still struggling with the directions. Somehow the cordless phone lost its programming, so she couldn't get her voice mail. Somehow the TV remotes got messed up so she couldn't watch TV. She's also lost a check and has a few other issues totally confused. I think she's finally seeing how much she relied on me these past few months. Strangely enough, she doesn't think that Dad used to help her a bit.
The house is still a disaster. The flowers on my porch all died and the flowerbeds are overrun with weeds. Inside and out the place looks like crap. And I don't know where to start to clean it.
I have very few clothes that fit. I have no money to get some clothes that do fit. I'm trying to eat better and have been walking a bit, but by Friday of this week, I just wanted to crawl into bed and be left alone.
I guess I'll start with my closet. Purge out all the stuff that doesn't fit and put it in a box in the garage so I don't have to look at it. Then I'll get my room in order.
One foot in front of the other.
But at home and on the personal front, I just don't know where to start.
Mom is still struggling with anything electronic. She's still having trouble with the continuous glucose monitoring system. We've gone through 7 sensors and have only managed to get 2 to work. I've finally found some friends who are willing to help her, but are still struggling with the directions. Somehow the cordless phone lost its programming, so she couldn't get her voice mail. Somehow the TV remotes got messed up so she couldn't watch TV. She's also lost a check and has a few other issues totally confused. I think she's finally seeing how much she relied on me these past few months. Strangely enough, she doesn't think that Dad used to help her a bit.
The house is still a disaster. The flowers on my porch all died and the flowerbeds are overrun with weeds. Inside and out the place looks like crap. And I don't know where to start to clean it.
I have very few clothes that fit. I have no money to get some clothes that do fit. I'm trying to eat better and have been walking a bit, but by Friday of this week, I just wanted to crawl into bed and be left alone.
I guess I'll start with my closet. Purge out all the stuff that doesn't fit and put it in a box in the garage so I don't have to look at it. Then I'll get my room in order.
One foot in front of the other.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Back in the Saddle
Day 4 back at the office. It's very quiet here, thank heavens. I've been able to get my office back to function (I let my replacement use it while I was gone) and am trying to get my GTD system back up and running. I've gotten a couple of big to dos off the list and hope to hit another one today.
Home is another story. I've gotten my stuff unpacked, but fitting it back in around my boyfriend and his daughter's stuff has been tricky. I'm so thankful that they moved in and helped with bills, and I've got to remember that whenever I get grumpy, but they just don't feel the drive to organize that I do. In a few rooms I'm in the "making a mess to clean up a mess" stage, other rooms I'm just ignoring. They'll come together as I get time.
I'm still feeling that urge to improve everything in my life at once - get organized, lose weight, fix my finances and ALL RIGHT NOW!!! I keep consciously bringing myself back to the fact that I can't do it all at once and to take one thing at a time.
Mom is doing OK. She actually did get her continuous glucose monitoring system to work on Monday, I'm not sure how. It is reporting her sugars every minute and sounds an alarm when she is over 300, under 100 or rising or falling really fast. She's still a bit confused about what the alarms mean, but she's slowly getting it. The community center for seniors that is looking out for her has been in touch, and we're going to try to line up a nurse to help her with sensor changes, until she's more comfortable with it. I think the people around her are realizing how much she depended on Dad and I, and are starting to see that she may not be able to live alone in the long term. Good. I got darned tired of being the nasty bossy daughter.
Balancing the third role is going OK, so far. Thank heavens I'm working into this slowly.
Home is another story. I've gotten my stuff unpacked, but fitting it back in around my boyfriend and his daughter's stuff has been tricky. I'm so thankful that they moved in and helped with bills, and I've got to remember that whenever I get grumpy, but they just don't feel the drive to organize that I do. In a few rooms I'm in the "making a mess to clean up a mess" stage, other rooms I'm just ignoring. They'll come together as I get time.
I'm still feeling that urge to improve everything in my life at once - get organized, lose weight, fix my finances and ALL RIGHT NOW!!! I keep consciously bringing myself back to the fact that I can't do it all at once and to take one thing at a time.
Mom is doing OK. She actually did get her continuous glucose monitoring system to work on Monday, I'm not sure how. It is reporting her sugars every minute and sounds an alarm when she is over 300, under 100 or rising or falling really fast. She's still a bit confused about what the alarms mean, but she's slowly getting it. The community center for seniors that is looking out for her has been in touch, and we're going to try to line up a nurse to help her with sensor changes, until she's more comfortable with it. I think the people around her are realizing how much she depended on Dad and I, and are starting to see that she may not be able to live alone in the long term. Good. I got darned tired of being the nasty bossy daughter.
Balancing the third role is going OK, so far. Thank heavens I'm working into this slowly.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Final Preparations For Mom
Today has been a bit technology day for Mom. This morning she was trained to use her new Continuous Glucose Monitoring System, the Abbot Freestyle Navigator. If your curious, read more here...
http://www.freestylenavigator.com/ab_nav/url/content/en_US/10:10/general_content/General_Content_0000013.htm
She's a bit nervous about it, but we'll see how it goes.
This afternoon we reviewed making and receiving calls on Skype and checking e-mail. All I've got left to do is make sure logmein.com works on her computer, then I'm headed home.
http://www.freestylenavigator.com/ab_nav/url/content/en_US/10:10/general_content/General_Content_0000013.htm
She's a bit nervous about it, but we'll see how it goes.
This afternoon we reviewed making and receiving calls on Skype and checking e-mail. All I've got left to do is make sure logmein.com works on her computer, then I'm headed home.
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