Forgetting what you've forgotten...

It's been about 6 weeks since Dad passed away, and my role here has clearly shifted into caring for my Mom and figuring out what she needs to have in place to successfully live on her own. I still don't think she can do this long term (and some who know her agree with me), but I need to find a way for her to be safe until she figures this out for herself.

The hardest part is trying to suggest "tricks" that will help her to not forget important things, when she doesn't remember that she forgets them. Case in point, insulin shots. Mom takes 4 a day. Here and there, her blood sugar readings suggest that she's forgotten to take a shot. Since taking her shot is darned near second nature to her, she has a hard time knowing if she really has or has not done it. Imagine if someone asked you "Did you go pee today?", you know you must have, but you may not specifically remember it, unless something eventful happened while you were in there.

She gets very defensive about it, and will usually only admit the next day that forgetting the shot is the only reasonable explanation for the crazy readings. But then she forgets that the entire thing happened.

So when it happens again the following week, I get "I've never forgotten my shot before!". I'm trying to come up with some sort of memory jog, maybe using a test tube rack to hold the 4 needles, but until she accepts that she needs the trick, I'm banging my head against a wall.

Is this scary? Yes. Could one of these forgettings be lethal? Yes. Do I care? Yes. Do I think that dragging her out of her home against her will is the answer? No.

The good news is that some of the plans that she HAS agreed to, may actually help her remember her shot. I'm also seeing that once she accepts that one of her older systems has failed, she does accept a new system, when it is presented to her as "you can try it if you want". After many suggestions to use labeled boxes to sort and hold bills and such that met with defiance, when actually given the boxes, she began using them and thought they were neat.

Dementia is scary, frustrating and downright depressing to watch.