Falling

I didn't realize there had been such a gap in posts. I kept waiting for things to "settle down" so I could blog about them, but they never have.

Dad has a new trick, falling out of his bed and wheelchair. I'm not sure if he is falling in his sleep, dreaming he can walk on his own and "forgetting" when he wakes up, or just being impatient and difficult about asking for and waiting for help. He's fallen 5 times since my last post, 4 of which resulted in trips to the ER because of nursing home policy. Once he split his head open and needed stitches, and on fall #3 or 4 they kept him for the weekend to make sure there were no changes in the MRI or other obvious reasons for his falls.

Yesterday we went to the oncologist and got more good news, the tumor still has not grown. There is a lot of swelling around the tumor, which has severely impaired his speech and right side. The impairment has Dad very frustrated, and he really seems to have given up. Medications have been adjusted to try to fight the swelling and fatigue, but I'm not sure how we fight the attitude.

I know that as the caregiver I'm supposed to allow Dad to feel angry, frustrated etc, but I'm hitting the wall on that. He's stubborn, impatient, demanding and difficult. Mom can barely stand to be around him and generally leaves the nursing home in tears. Last night was fall #5. Mom and I didn't go to the ER. Mom was very upset and I didn't want to leave her alone. The nursing home wants a meeting today to figure out what to do about the falls-he's now gone through every fall intervention in their book. Last night they mentioned having a friend or family member around him 24/7, but with only the 2 of us, I just don't see how we can do that. I have a feeling I'll be spending Easter weekend looking for a new nursing home.

When I was a kid, Dad made "chore cards" for me, which listed my daily responsibilities, and that I had to check 4 times a day to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything (Dr. UpsideDown has always been a scatterbrain). I'm actually thinking of making chore cards for all 3 of us, and showing Dad that his chore list isn't that long, and that he's not living up to his responsibilities in this family. Maybe going back to the principles that were central to him when he was raising me will jog something. I just don't know.