When Dad was first diagnosed, Mom predicted "this will be the worst Christmas EVER". Now that it's 12/27, I can look back and observe that although it was really really different, it wasn't awful. Despite her best efforts.
My Mom has always been a pessimist. Her glass is always half empty and every cloud has a s***-brown lining. This year she decided that there would be no tree, she bought very few gifts for the family and seemed determined to make true on her prediction. It seemed like every family tradition we've ever had around Christmas was tossed out the window this year. We spent most of the holiday watching TV or napping. I read two cheesy mystery novels, ate Christmas cookies, and slept - a lot.
Dementia makes the holidays interesting. Every day since Christmas, Mom has remembered another gift for me and we've had a search for the "hidden" gift. I keep joking that we've combined Christmas and Easter.
I'm headed back to my home to spend New Year's with my friends and pick up what I'll need to begin my semester "off". I think my first big challenge of this break will be figuring out how to help my parents without stepping on their toes, but that's a topic for another post.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Life Upside Down?
Is the glass half full or half empty? Depending on what was going on in my life, I could answer either way. In September of 2008 it was half full - I had just bought my first home, I was finally feeling like I'd hit a winning pace on the tenure "track" and on the whole, life was good.
Then my glass got turned upside down. Dad's declining handwriting was found to be caused by a brain tumor. Not just any brain tumor, but a Grade IV glioblastoma multiforme, an aggressive, terminal brain tumor (if it sounds familiar, it's the same cancer Ted Kennedy has).
Having an ill parent is bad enough, but when your Dad is the primary caregiver of your Mom, who has dementia of unknown cause, it becomes even more complicated. And when you're an only child, you can't just ditch the situation on someone else. It falls on you, even if you live far away.
With the support of my department I'm on leave of absence for spring semester of 2009. I'm moving back in to the family home, after 16 years away. This blog will be a public journal of my leave, the adjustment of my priorities from work to family and the joys and trials of caregiving. I'll use it to keep current with friends, hopefully help some strangers, and keep myself sane.
Then my glass got turned upside down. Dad's declining handwriting was found to be caused by a brain tumor. Not just any brain tumor, but a Grade IV glioblastoma multiforme, an aggressive, terminal brain tumor (if it sounds familiar, it's the same cancer Ted Kennedy has).
Having an ill parent is bad enough, but when your Dad is the primary caregiver of your Mom, who has dementia of unknown cause, it becomes even more complicated. And when you're an only child, you can't just ditch the situation on someone else. It falls on you, even if you live far away.
With the support of my department I'm on leave of absence for spring semester of 2009. I'm moving back in to the family home, after 16 years away. This blog will be a public journal of my leave, the adjustment of my priorities from work to family and the joys and trials of caregiving. I'll use it to keep current with friends, hopefully help some strangers, and keep myself sane.
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